I have been told that, "your voice changes with time, and so will your writing." I could have taken this as I always take in everything I discuss with my mentor, but today, I could not talk. See, I find it easy to defend myself. I know that when it comes to words, he can never beat me. I can go round in circles and he can chase me as much as he wants, but he would never catch up. But, when he pauses and says something that I have been running from- then I either defend myself or laugh it off.
In his words, "Your defense is either anger or humor, Dora. I know this much about you. You cannot fool me."
So, today...I did not feel neither a sense of anger or humor- but more of a resolution, or shall we call it acceptance?
I have published a short story on Smashwords a couple of minutes ago (twelve to be exact) and it's titled Silence and Shadows. I had submitted it for some writing competition and after making some alterations, it found itself on my profile page.
So, why this talk about writing and a voice?
I did go through my dashboard and I have over 30,000 downloads of my books- and looking at that took the life out of me for a second. I started downloading pdf versions of all the stuff I had written but could not read them. I find it very uncomfortable reading a story I have written because it feels like a memory that I had purged myself of and now I have to take it back. Now, don't get me wrong, it's just too much to take in. So, I started deleting the books that I had downloaded- and it was in this time that I realized that my first and latest stories are totally different.
There is something about them that makes me feel as though they were written by two different people. When I asked my mentor about this, he told me that it happened to everyone- at least every person in the world. I know that no book is ever the same, because even the story is not the same, isn't that why the book is always different from the movie adaptation? The story is the same, but the scenes and setting is always enough to through an ardent reader off. I know I felt the same when I watched The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones movie, based off the book by Cassandra Clare.
The same happens to us, we encounter different situations all the time. We are constantly living in a world of forces, where we find ourselves either acting or reacting. So, it's high time I keep on doing what I can, and somehow things will make sense to. I am still the one who is writing the stories, but whatever happens is always different. Change is necessary for plot development. At the moment I am thinking of a pinch of drama, an ounce of sizzling antagonists, a piece of action, a roll of suspense, and a serving of romance...that can either be hot or chilled.