Wednesday, March 18, 2009

MOMMY DRAMA.

There is nothing enlightening about being on campus on a Saturday unless you are undergoing training to become a peer educator.
I had reported as early as 7:20a.m. at the school cafeteria, only to be welcomed by a chilling breeze and empty chairs. Clearly I must have jumped out of bed just to be the first one to receive an Éclair for my achievement, but I must have arrived earlier than everyone else.
I walked to the campus washrooms then walked back to the cafeteria and pulled out the latest novel that I was reading "Lasher by Ann Rice."
Caro, my group member is certainly one of those rare characters that come packaged in a box reading "feel free to return to sender." She is of normal size, taller than me and has the cutest dimples I have ever seen .She sat across from me, listening to the radio. Her light green jumper and blue jean trousers were a casual blend. I loved her navy blue white dotted Bata gumdrops, they looked comfortable.
"Seems like we are the only people who were chased out of the house."
"Yeah, I know can you believe I came here as early as 7:20?"
"What, you must have been literally chased out of the house something that my mom would probably do."
Richie, her friend joins us and he sits next to Caro. He looks tired and more so extremely sleepy. For him waking up before noon is too early. Richie just like most guys here on campus has cornrows. He also happens to be one of the few to look good in them.
"By the way, Caro, have you ever realized that guys with round collared sweaters look weird? I prefer them with zip ups, it makes their necks look longer which is so masculine."
"Yeah….I know. Talking of moms do you and your mom get along?"
"We do some of the time."
"Lucky you, my mom would see am seated watching my fave programme then she would call me. ‘Richie! Come fetch me a table spoon.’ A table spoon, can you imagine that? And it is right before her."
"Ha! Your mom is better than mine." Caro says amid laughter "me and mom don’t get along. I only call her when I need pocket money, in fact I always flash."
"But it is crazy how can she ask me to stop watching my fave programme and fetch her a spoon that is right before her, isn’t that laziness?"
"She loves you..."
"What kind of love is that? It even gets worse when I have to go into the kitchen, she’d say, ‘Richie! bring me a glass of water while you are there, and don’t forget some salt too...Richie would you get me…’ and that list is endless you’d wonder why she can’t make a list so that you go there once."
"There was this one time my mom threw a temper tantrum because the dog had eaten one peg!"
"Serious?"
"Yes Caro, she went on calling me irresponsible and kept on talking and whining till the guard commented, ‘the boss hasn’t taken tea, and she is blowing smoke!"
"Caro, at times I think my mom would best be an African version of Daphne of Scooby Doo. She wants perfection and is constantly whining about one thing or the other."
"Guys, do your moms also have the nine month speech?" Caro asked still laughing at the fact that I related my mom to a cartoon character.
"Yeah, that’s like a must for all moms. I once tried to walk away as she started her speech. She started yelling at me for being rude and inconsiderate of her feelings. ‘Richie! You ungrateful thing! How can you walk away when I am clearly talking to you? What are you trying to prove to me? You think you are old enough, come and sit down…NOW!"
"Poor Richie, never walk away during that speech."
"Yeah, I learnt my lesson the next morning once my ears unblocked."
"My sister never lets my mom get away with that one, whenever she starts complaining my sister asks, ‘mom, nine months compared to twenty two years of staying with you tell me who is more stressed?"
"WHAT?" Shrieked Caro as Richie burst into laughter.
"Do you and your mom argue?""I have experienced her drama but unlike my sister I let her have her own way. You know it is easy for her to accept whatever shrewd comments she receives from my sister but coming from me that would be an abomination."
"Then you are such a good person."
"Like there was this one time when she lashed out at me for not paying the electricity bill on time and I retreated into my bedroom. Later that evening when she came home from work she apologized for being so rude, before I could accept her apology, she checked the sideboard to find some dust, the she said, ‘Arch! You couldn’t wipe the dust off my sideboard? What were you doing in the house the whole day? Am I supposed to do things on my own around here?"
"No, she didn’t…how could she do that? You hadn’t even accepted her apology?"
"Richie, that’s how my mom is she can’t let you savor a victory before bringing you down."
"I don’t get my mom most of the time."
"I hope we won’t be like them when we grow up."
"Trust me you will, haven’t you ever heard of the saying, like mother like daughter?"
"Richie stop! It is not funny."
"If we do, I think we will be better moms than our moms."
"So you mean the moms that don’t talk to their kids."
"No way, I will at least let my kids visit my mom."
"I won’t Caro, unless it is Christmas because she will spoil them rotten and they will come back insisting that their grandma is better than me for letting them have their own way."
"Do your moms ever keep time?"
"Yeah, my mom does especially on Sundays as we go to church."
"Richie, count yourself lucky, my mom is never on time! In fact she always delays on purpose so we can plead with her to hurry up. And when we caution her about it, she gets so defensive."
"My mom always does this weird thing. She calls me to hook up with her in town and maybe do some household shopping, can you believe she’d say she is waiting at a restaurant famously known in Kisumu as Victoria and wants me to get there in ten minutes?"
"Then?"
"Then, I get there and look for her but she’d nowhere to be found, so instead, I call her only for her to say that, ‘am sorry dear, but am in a meeting and will meet you there in n hour’s time, okay?"
"Ouch!"
"And that’s my mom for you."
"But mothers are just drama queens."
"Tell me about it. Now that I am far away from her, she calls every other time to say hi and between the h-and the –i-she asks me when she can come visit."
"Then what do you tell her?"
"I tell her am busy at school and won’t have enough time for her. I f she wants to see me then it has to be during the holidays."
"That’s a lie…"
"And it’s the only valid answer I can ever give her. And for the record that is not a lie. I just conceal the fact that I don’t want her around me when the semester is in session."
"I am her last born daughter and she loves saying that. Every time we meet her friends she says, ‘meet Arch, she is my lastborn daughter and is studying Psychology at USIU.’ Come to think of it that is the one thing I love about her. She is proud of me."
"But mothers are plain crazy."
"At least they don’t hide behind newspapers or expect you to follow their career paths or worse off look at you in a weird sense."
I simply remain quiet and cease to contribute to that father topic. So far I have stayed with mom for close to 11years and she knows me best. Truth is I lost my dad when I was 9years old and since then mom has taken up both roles. Mom stood by me even when I was weak to do that and she listened to me complain about everything including her.
Mommy drama will just continue being there as long as mothers are alive. And yeah, we all need some mommy drama in our lives. Moms are the people who you can somehow always count on when things go wrong; they care and listen and never fail to show disappointment in you when you go wrong.
I am glad that I am not the only one experiencing this kind of drama. Thank God she is not the real Daphne…If she were then I would probably be deaf by now.
As Caro put it-mothers are plain drama queens; may I add drama queens who deserve a crown, becaus ethey are right on target most of the times. I still have to know...how can moms tell when their kids are in trouble?