Thursday, April 2, 2009

Living under someone's shadow.

Are we always perfect? No. Are we always true to ourselves? Well, this could be tricky because it depends on each person's view on being true. At times we simply forget that we are unique individuals who can achieve anything we set our minds to. Why do we forget? We forget because we have so much time in our hands to look at what other people are doing instead of finding a way to make it better.
So , sometime yesterday I had this grueling interview on why I decided to do certain things. Yes, I know in fact it was so uncomfortable that I felt offended, as in why would someone want to dictate what I do and how I do it? Reading...I was reading! You would question what's wrong with reading a book? Then consider that it is okay to read a book, for their is knowledge in them but what book are we talking about? Fiction...I was reading a fictional book, you could call it fantasy but well, it still falls under fiction e.g. Dan Brown's 'The Davinci Code' or better yet, J.K. Rowling's 'Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.'
  • What is living under someone's shadow?

It means a couple of things:one of them is constantly being second to someone close to you based on all their achievements, e.g. if say one's brother is a straight A student, and well he on the other hand is average, that pressure to sometimes be like his brother would show that he is living under his brother's shadow.

Second, it could mean always being told to be perfect based on someone else's standard of perfection e.g. you have to be responsible and not indulge yourself into reading or listening to anything that is not of a good spirit.

This is what we call living under someone's shadow, but why would we do such a thing when it simply defies our creativity? Our own chance to shine. Marie Williamson clearly says it,"there is nothing enlightening about shrinking so small so that other people wont feel insecure around you."(A Return to love). But when all is said and done, don't we have the right to choose and live with the consequences of our actions? For what is perfection, but a correction of imperfection?

So, from my experience I would say that I am still stunned at how much as human beings we abuse the priviledge of expressing our opinions by imposing them on others. For if someone is delightfully engaging in a hobby that is worthy let them and this would in fact improve the relationship we have with our friends. No one wants to start running away from the other or better yet pretending to be something he or she is not when you are around.

If this does apply to you remember a few things that hold dear to any relationship that you form with others.

  • Everyone is unique in their own way, no one is your photocopy.
  • Perfection is nothing but correction of imperfection.
  • You have the right to express your opinions but not to abuse the priviledge and insult someones' values and expressions.
  • You are not their master.
  • Any relationship is based on good communication not orders from you to have them change.
  • You cannot change someone by using a blueprint of your take on his or her conducts--who says that you are always right?

Living under someone's shadow is a killer to creativity, to us living up and beyond our potential. So before you open your mouth and judge someone harshly first consider his/her reasons for doing what they are engaging in.