Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Some tips for guys

Okay, if anyone has stayed long in Kenya enough then he or she knows that women have been complaining that we do not have gentlemen. First things first who is a gentleman? A man of refinement for starters. But really what does it mean to be refined? How can we say that one person is refined and the other is not? A refined person has etiquette and most of all cares for the simple needs of the person he is with (of course in this case guys/men).
So each time women complain that Kenyan men are not gentle at all, what they get in response is that they were nurtured by women so why complain? Well, anyone bold enough to say that must be forgetting that he has a mother sensitive enough to hit the folly out of him! Being refined doesn't mean going overboard it means starting with the little things that matter.e.g. how many men say "please" or "thank you?"
How many would open doors for the lady or ladies who are right ahead or behind him?"
I reckon one of my friends at school, kept asking why Kenyan men are not like the Italian men in her country. She was heading into a building in town and this guy ahead of her opened the door let himself in and let it close. She stood there shocked as to how rude that guy could be and after a number of incidences concerning etiquette she gave up on the hope of there ever being a Kenyan gentleman.
Of course any guy would start by saying that this is not Italy but Kenya, and how funny yet foolish would that be a claim when preparing for an argument.

One would think that being a British colony we would learn a few good tips and live for the better. Some very simple things that I think every man should know while in the quest to become a gentleman are:

  1. Always open doors for ladies, whether she is your girlfriend or not. It earns you extra points.
  2. Learn to use courteous words such as "please," "sorry" and "thank you."
  3. Keep time. Time management is a crucial factor in all you do.
  4. Do not laugh at other people's mistakes, it would just show how shallow you are.
  5. Don't eat until everyone has settled down. Everyone dines at the same time.
  6. Help her with her seat.
  7. Give up your seat if any lady is standing in the room,e.g. if you are in a cafe and a lady is standing who is of your entourage or not, please stand up, surrender your seat and politely ask the waiter for another one.
  8. Give her your arm, during functions or even when you are out on a date, this shows support and most of all concern, she will know you are always by her side.
  9. Ask if she needs anything instead of assuming that she is comfortable.
  10. Remove yor hat while indoors and please: do not keep it on while dining, that is poor etiquette.
  11. If you suit up, always match your belt with your shoes.

These are some of the things to consider, let's have some gentlemen shall we?


Bridges,J.,& Curtis, B. (2006)50 Things every young gentleman should know. Thomas Nelson.