Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Before Sunrise.

I had restricted myself to creative writing but found out that there is more to writing than having the eye for one genre, or mainstream. Creativity encompasses an expression of thoughts and feelings that would in turn move the reader.
So I simply thought it would be wise to at least write down what comes to mind in whichever state it does. It is tough being a leader, but tougher holding two leadership positions that demand your full attention. At times the realization of what lies ahead makes my brain freeze and that is never a good feeling. It always feels like being in an elevator not knowing which button to press for fear of landing on the wrong floor or running into a dictator kind of boss or that stalker you so want to disappear!
As humans beings we always have a choice and the power to pick one and leave the other or take both and deal with the consequences accompanying each. But as I slowly crawl into bed my mind is busy working on the events of the next day and how I shall impact the lives of the people around me positively. I did have a choice as to be either a Resident Assistant or a Club chairperson. I was an assistant at first but simply couldn't say no to being a chairperson, because it is in an area that I absolutely love: Psychology! So I took up the position because I wanted to and ignored all the warning signs that I received from my mind, friends and even just people who knew me! I made the choice to have both and since then I have been working on both extremes. Though I am tempted to hate myself when no one sees how much effort I put into a task, sometimes I simply let it go, lock myself in my room and tell myself that they have no clue whatsoever, about who I am and what I go through daily. I simply review my planner and congratulate myself for the little that I did hoping that someday I might look back and be glad that I did so.
For C. S. Lewis once said that "when we open up and let others in we risk vulnerability..."
I risk nothing of the sort but perfectionism which could potentially wear me down if I let it,but not before sunrise, I wake up each day with a smile on my face...because I chose to have both positions and I am learning daily, which makes me a better person.