Sunday, November 13, 2011

NO...THEY DIDN'T!

Growing up I was taught to respect and cherish people for who they are. My Mom always drummed it into me that in life I need to look on the bright side. When things are tough, she would say, dare to look on the bright side and keep your head up always. See, there were days when she would tell me so and I would ask her, "seriously?"
She knows I worry and she also knows that when I lose my trust in someone, they will not have second chances to prove themselves and when I forgive them, I will not let them have the same authority or trust they had earlier on. At times she would jokingly say 'woe unto those who cross your path Baby.' So, today I heard this man say that in the culture it is often said that "a woman's words will only be remembered in the morning."
I still play my Mother's words in my mind ten or more years later after she said them (guess that's my morning).
During the week, I learned that the the greatest disrespect someone can pay you in Kenya is to talk negatively about you in his/her mother-tongue while you are seated an arm's length away from them. I also learned that my threshold for understanding is so strong that I simply smile and stare at whoever yells at me. It is this reaction that makes most people think of me as rude or carefree. I also learned that I have one life, one very brilliant life and I should live it to my best. In doing so I have managed to do what I want and also made new friends.
The best lesson of this week is a telephone conversation I had with a guy.
So, a call comes through at around 8:00pm-I am tired and on the watching The Hit List (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hit_List_%282011_film%29 ). I receive the call and this guy introduces himself officially. He asks me how my day was and I say it went great and after that I ask him, what of you? The guy went on to let me in on what he studies, where he works,spelled every duty he fulfills, what he believes in, when he will graduate, what he hopes would be the next best thing in the organization he works, how he finds accounting a chore and bore and then he runs out of units ten minutes into the monologue.
No, he didn't??
Well, yes he did. It was all about himself, but instead of declaring him boring, I said he was nervous. See, we only accumulate stuff in life. We are so full of stuff that we are stuffed up! Have you ever had a teddy bear and seen the things they stuff it with? If you have one simply look for any stitching line and tear it open to reveal either cotton or pieces of clothes they stuff in it to make it look good. Now that's how most people are. I am glad that that guy's monologue enlightened me on this.
Smile with tongue
If you remove all the stuffing, the teddy bear is lifeless and unappealing. The same happens too people-what matters to most is getting ahead, being smart, getting things done, having so many achievements that while in such a hurry people lose themselves. Like the guy who called me, would it be human to hear him say I like this movie, or walking, or at times I simply don't know what to do or say. Well, you might be thinking that it's his first call and he has to make an impression. True, he did not make an impression-rather he validated himself. In doing so he left the impression that he was either boring or completely nervous and thus a braggart. Making an impression is a process of creation. It is something that is very much conscious and unconscious. It is something that emotionally attracts you to another and inspires them to be their best.
Forget the stuff you own or are seeking to own, simply try and introduce yourself to another person without talking about any of your possessions and let me know how that goes.