Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Hey, Don't Mind Me.

I am not a big fan of fights.
If there's a commotion, you will find me seeking an exist or simply walking towards the spot that is quiet to breathe. I however do anger very well. When I am mad or beyond peeved, what I will do is smile (count to a million in my head) and let it simmer for a while. And this has worked well for me over the years because not only do I bake my anger, I knead it into a firm dough, let it stay for a while and only put it into the oven when I know it's time to crank up the heat. Needles to say I am a good cook too :-)
But, there's a quality that I admire and it has gotten me to the point of adoration. I know it sounds sick- but bear with me for a while-I have seen it in only one person and she always gets her cool together. I am a composed mess. As beautiful as a mountain, but as dangerous as a volcanic one. She's simply beautiful through and through. She gets mad, acknowledges her anger-tells it in the most calm of manners and it's forgotten. She smiles and moves on immediately like nothing ever happened. It is a quality that has got me wondering, "Woman! Where did you come from?" But that aside, the only other thing that gets me moving is music. I have had the chance of listening to so many artistes and that always lifts up my moods.
Of late I have come to love I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz and Shadow Days by John Mayer because they have this soothing effect on my anger.
But even though I know that "anger" is one letter short of "danger" some part of me understands the need to experience it and that I have to deal with it whether I like it or not. So, since I cannot break things or throw them-the best way is to always let it slide-and of late I have learned not to let it explode years or months or weeks after- but to kind of self combust if there was ever a term as that.
So far so good.

And like I said, "hey, don't mind me."