Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Busy uh? Read this!

Have you read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz?
I told my bestest friend-and cousin that I would not read any motivational books or anything that talked about awareness apart from the Bible this year- and I broke that promise. (I'm sorry Cuz, if you are reading this...good :-) read till the end, then maybe you can forgive me). But, here are the four agreements:
  1. Be impeccable with your word
  2. Don't take anything personally
  3. Don't make assumptions
  4. Always do your best

Sound simple right?

Well, let me draw your attention to numero dos! (a.k.a number 2)

Some says "I don't love you" "You suck!" "You are not worth my time" "I just can't stand you" "You'll never be good at anything" "Why don't you get a job?" "Your Momma!"

Okay...how can someone not take any of those personally? Really, I have had over four years of experience in Psychology to understand that anywhere in this world people take things to heart- in fact according to most population lists a lot of people commit suicide or do drugs because of the words people told them, insults kill more than anything- and if you think am kidding, here's some words "Cyber-bullying."

Today was a pretty intense day for me, and I simply asked myself why I seem to bottle up my feelings, and immediately express them on paper. It is rather difficult for me to express certain feelings by speech than by writing- so whatever happens- I reckon I will be one of those spouses that leaves behind an account of her married life for her husband when she dies. And it wouldn't be like "P.S. I love You."

More like "The Reality of My marriage...P.S. Our Marriage."

But, I  read The Four Agreements because my friend Luc thought it would be something worth my attention-and she was right in a way, I bet I will do some research on this, but first about taking things personally...we do.

But, have you ever wondered why what people say and do hurt you or get to you?

I reckon it is because you let it. We are social animals, as people say- and that means that if something does not directly happen to us we witness it happening elsewhere or to someone and we form opinions about things either directly or indirectly.

When people say things, it is not what they are saying that hurts you, but that their words touch on certain wounds. You let their words add onto your wounds and make them fresh as such you end up taking what they say personally. In your attempt to connect with a person, you let their words and actions shape you when it should not if it is negative- so when you let negative thoughts and people shape your life- then it becomes just that.

For whatever you encounter, it not about becoming cold or putting a stop to your feelings, but rather being aware of what hurts you and putting a stop to that hurt as fast as you can...I use Music and Writing to see me through, at times when people say things that would not be of benefit to me, I think of a song or a live performance and stick to that- if they pick up on my lack of attention I simply let them know that they were touching a nerve and I unplugged them.

Find a way, your own way of dealing with your wounds...don't let anyone put you down.

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?