Thursday, March 21, 2013

People Pleaser

Pleasing people is a full time job- I mean you work 24/7 and just when you think you can take a break- there's those mutual friends on facebook those who sub-tweet just to get your attention on twitter and do not get me started on those who exist in your phone book!
You know the 21st Century is just awesome!
The world has become a small village!
Every body knows about somebody who lives in another continent- I mean if you don't know anything -why waste time going to a library, or asking around- just ask Google and if what you are looking for is not in the first page- then you have over a thousand pages to look up, right?
But all this has to mean something right?
You have your parents, friends and relatives- and the awesome person who you hope to make a couple with.
So- all these people expect you to do what is right.
They expect you also to just "be happy" and live your life- and you know be somebody in the society. But how often has this been challenged?
You see- what is right or wrong is relative.
The way you see the world is not the same way your brother or sister sees the world-yet you have been brought up by the same parents and provided with basic needs.
You know whoever said that everyone is unique was spot on! You have your DNA, fingerprints, palm print and your temperament.
So when you live your life by somebody else's standards you will realize one day that you stooped so low and short-changed yourself- and woe unto you is it comes at the age of 40! Everyone else would call it a mid-life crisis when it is nothing but an awakening.
Being a People Pleaser- is tough- it is like a tethered goat who has to eat the grass and shrubs around a circumference because if it goes too far then it's choked, and if it stays too near to the pole then it feels confined.
I have had the opportunity of talking to a long time friend-and seeing him happy just made me realize that he has hope. He just dumped his girlfriend of five years, he's moved out of his Father's house, he got fired from his Father's company, he now works as a Front Office Manager at a Hotel here in Kisumu. His pay is enough to sustain him for a while- but he is glad that for once he is doing something by himself- not as commanded by his parents or his very manipulative girlfriend.
So, and you- maybe you are reading this and wondering what I am going on about.
Maybe you understood me from the beginning- all the same, you live your life. You have a responsibility to see that your actions do not cause serious harm to others- just like they do.
You also have the right to listen to what people say and the right Not to implement everything you are told- even when your conscience and intuition tell you it is wrong.
You have freedom of speech and freedom of silence and reflection.
You have freedom of expression and freedom of understanding.
You have the right to walk out on toxic relationships and the right to build healthy relationships.
You have the right to admit that someone or something hurt you and the right not to let it happen again.
You have the right to ignore, assume, condemn knowing that other people will also practice this right on you.
You have the right NOT to be a People Pleaser- but to live your life, follow your sense of calling and hope and pray to God for the guidance to fulfill your purpose.

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?