Thursday, March 28, 2013

Take Breaks- don't Break Stuff

By now you all know how I like to walk away from any confrontation!
In fact when I am mad- and feel my temper getting the better of me- I walk away so fast, you can barely catch up.
I have done that to a couple of people (I am sorry, I guess now you know)
Being a bottler (of feelings) well, I have also cut off communication from people, because I know that talking to them would not help much.

So, have you ever gotten into a huge fight?
I am talking the kind where- you are so mad, your voice goes towards 100 Decibels!
I think I was- or rather I was caught in the middle of things.

That's what happens when you have time for people- you get caught in the middle of things!
So, remember this well, she did call me!
I thought the Cold war was over- only to walk into a Deafening War!
So, here it goes- my friend did make a mess of things- and the Guy's girlfriend decided to call her up on it- and the result (two women yelling at each other and anyone who cares to stop and stare).
So, how did I get caught in the middle?
I get a call- by our mutual friend. I show up an hour later- and there's chaos. Chaos gets better because the Guy's Girl happens to be some girl we attended Sunday school and Teen's class with- so shock of my life! Now, my friend-gives me the "betrayer look" and I stand there as they yell their fears and frustrations away. There was this vase by the window- and I kept staring at it hoping I could smash it to make them keep quiet.
When they did- I said "you will sort your own issues in your own way, at your own time, and next time don't call me when it's something you brought on yourselves."
I was mad.
I could feel the anger.
You know- I just felt like killing them! Two beautiful, educated and talented women- yelling at each other over a Guy. One is the Guy's girlfriend and the other is interested.
The Guy was somewhere working or hoping to have some time to relax after a long day at work- and the girls were wasting my time by calling me to witness a verbal and tonal fight!
Of which it was too loud to declare a winner.
But as I left that place- I realized two things:
  1. I do not need my toxic friend- yes it's high time I saw it- too much drama and it is more like Queen up in here-with her expecting things to go her way. Though Beautiful and intelligent, I need a break- the longest one from her- for it's too much to give and not have the strength to give unto others too.
  2. My anger is a raging volcano that has to be worked on. It will be worked on.

So, the next time you are raving mad- and pissed off- take breaks in between your verbal bouts (it's good to breathe when you vent :-) ) and do not break stuff, not brittle things, or ceramics, and most of all know that in moments of anger and frustration you can say things that you will never take back that break the very same relationships you value.

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?