Monday, June 10, 2013

Making Lemonade

I have often heard that "when life gives you lemons, use them to make
lemonade." Some people live by this so much that nothing seems to get
them down- others simply believe that whatever happens has a root
cause and a solution. But, something has been bugging me so much so
that I cannot help but ask why one of the 4 Agreements by Don Miguel
Ruiz does not apply "don't take things personally."
For almost a month now, we have been hosting a relative- and that's
what I shall choose to call her for the purposes of not losing my cool
and typing a few blasphemous words. Yes, and you could say that with
my kind of training and temperament that I could be more patient and
understanding of her- but I will tell you that the results of my
patience have been an invasion of privacy and insults. Yes, and the
greatest invasion of privacy has to be getting into my back pack and
taking my Pelikan pens and pencils and handing them to an eleven year
old school kid who still uses the fountain pen! The other has to be
seeing my coolest Ed Hardy tee shirt choking her rib-cage as she wears
something to bum with in the house, and do not get me started on my
shoes, body lotion and perfume and worse off earrings! So, there you
have it- but the greatest of all I would admit was when she
disregarded my Grandma and clicked! I know I could have cried, but it
hurt knowing that someone as old as 33years old- a mother with two
kids, would do such a thing- and she has no right to be in the house
while my Grandma has every right! So today I am going to try and
pretend that things are great- and look into making that lemonade.
So, how about we start from dawn?
The relative wakes up at 10am, calls me at work to say that there's no
bread for breakfast. (I think: "I bought bread, you ate four slices of
it after supper, and you have the balls to call me in the morning
telling me there's no bread? How about the cup? Take tea using the
cup, that's the best escort there is." Instead I say: "That's none of
my business, take your money and go get that bread that you
desperately need.")
It is a health hazard to ask her to cook because she once made me
confuse her ugali for uji- and besides, since I eat vegetables alone
the thought of having her spoil that for me would mean I starve! So
enough with the whining because so far it is making me sick- and how
about trying to see this one through- and the one question that keeps
coming to mind is "when will she leave?"
It is sad indeed that the old and wise saw these behavior patterns and
talked about them without having to pay school fees. There's something
about fish- about trying to bend them over or fold fish while it's
still wet and young. Well, moral of the story- it is hard to help
someone change or embrace new habits when they are adults. And I have
learned this because no matter how nicely I have requested the
relative to stay away from my stuff or to seek my permission, she
still believes in locking herself in my room and going through my
things for her pleasure. It is something that has got me asking just
how hard it is to model a person and talking about that lemonade- I
think I will go get some lemons today and make lemonade, besides I
have a bad flu and my voice is missing in action.

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?