Monday, October 27, 2014

Questions you should probably ask but never have.

I climbed a steep hill for twenty five minutes today. I also nearly lost my breath when I got to the main road, but that's done- the best part has been reading The Calhouns: Suzanna and Megan by Nora Roberts. Why? I have this bias towards books by Danielle Steel, Nora Roberts and Sidney Sheldon. It's more like a been there-done that kind of feeling, and before you think I'm hating, sit down and think about it, take a minute, matter of fact, make it two- and then say "Dora, you're crazy and downright stupid for even thinking like that."

And this is the part where I say, "Thank you."
I have been rid of that bias after reading that book, and I know Writers have a style and voice, just like you know that any book by Jodi Picoult is going to make you weep if not cry and pull your hair at such human cruelty and pain. It's just the way it is.
So, what brought this up? A man. Yes, don't give me The-Rock-Eyebrow right now!

​Well, I was reading the book and this man seated beside me was also enjoying my leisure time- and he came right out of nowhere and asked, "Is it true that women are like that? They don't really ask questions when sometimes they want to?"
I looked at him, but what I was thinking was "Where did that come from?" Then I turned to the book and I saw that he could read bits of it based on how I was holding it- and at that point I went into Diplomat mode, "It depends, but the way I see it everyone is like that, sometimes we have questions to ask but never do either out of fear for the consequences or the truth."

He nodded. We continued reading until he alighted at Katito then said, "My name is Lameck. I like women who read."
I smiled and blurted out, "Thanks," instead of "My name is Dora and I don't like people who interrupt or reign in my parade as I read."

As we got to Kisumu there were many thoughts going through my mind regarding the questions that never rolled out on my tongue and why I kept them there. As usual if anything spooks me or makes me uncomfortable, I write it in my journal and think about it there- but I called Grace with three questions and let's just say I did not like her third answer!
  1. Whom do you know that I should know?
  2. What have you read that I should read?
  3. What have you done that you know and truly feel I should do?

And her answers were:

  1. Gabriel. He's an Accountant and loves to read just like you, and he's better looking than Grumpy.
  2. Really? Go ask someone who has never heard or ABCs! You have probably read everything! That's a selfish question, are you bragging?
  3. Get married, have a baby. being pregnant is a chore.

Grace aside- those three questions should be directed to three kinds of people in your life: those you look up to, those who look down on you and those who look up to you.

They are to make you stronger and better than you are now, so write them down, and go ahead and ask. You have this week to do so, and if you have such people in your life chances are you'll learn the best things you never thought you would!

Do not let anyone define you.