Saturday, October 31, 2009

At 10:45pm

So, I sit here at this time trying to get the words right and it is exciting and tiresome to have the itchy feeling of writing but not necessarily aware of what to write. Most people call it free writing but sometimes it feels too beautiful to make sense yet when complete you are suddenly aware of the satisfaction derived. I am glad, because I do have time on my own to be myself and everyone is out at Onami having dinner. I love how made up and beautiful the ladies looked in their designer gowns and heels. Their classic clutch purses were just a mark of how elegant they were. I smiled at some of them then walked ahead...I had some laundry to do.
Now I feel calm, I am listening to some Cuban music (Compe Segundo)on a streamline radio, WGBH 89.7. It is beuatiful how music can move you when you do not even know the words and their meaning, which reminds me I need to take a beginner's course in Spanish.
I had started reading Friedrich Nietzche's book, "Beyond Good and Evil" and was taken back by his introduction/preface, he asks, "supposing that TRUTH is a woman-what then?" He goes on to say that therefore the work that philosophers and scientists have done is futile to some extent because throughout history men have failed to get/undertsand women. It is eye opening that philosophy can take one word and give it so much power or understanding that you will be left in awe. There is no final and perfectly true answer in philosophy and that just goes to show how much we can stretch our brains.
So, here goes the continuation of the post "to have travelled."
   He stood there for hours on end holding her feeble body in his arms and seeing what he had created. He made her wait too long, he loved her, she adored him and the two were not the same. How could he tell her the truth, that he had taken too long because he never wanted to come back...she was too perfect for him, he had to get cleaned up, his addiction was not good for them. He collected antiques and paintings from all over the world, in search of the one item that would resemble her but he never found it. He never wrote letters.....except for that one lying there on the table, inside it were the words, "in case you lose hope..."
   She trusted him for two years and obeyed his request not to open the letter, now five words had cost him the woman he loved...but set him free. That would seem evil but he was free and he couldn't explain why. As the guards locked him in solitary, he smiled and held her picture at arm's length....he was in jail and would never go around the world aiming at targets, pulling triggers and assasinating people for money...his employers would not look for him...he was free, she set him free...her letter read, "don't look back darling."