Friday, September 16, 2011

Dreamers and Moments

This day has got me thinking far and wide, I fear my brain is going to ask my body to shut down-so that it can replenish itself while I sleep.Having woken up at 7:13am to make my way across town only to realize I carried along the wrong documents makes me cringe. I insist on "makes" though it happened five hours ago-because I tend to take time in dealing with my mistakes or inconveniences. As I am writing this one of my favorite writers Paulo Coelho has just tweeted "live with no regrets and love with no excuses."
 This takes my article down another part, that it was intended after a few paragraphs of wallowing in self pity. Another writer is once heard saying,"In life there are many erasers." Erasers do away with the unnecessary most of the times, but when it comes to human beings-erasers are haters. These are people who are after your downfall not because you have ever wronged them, but because you excel while they do not.
 So what then?

That was the question that my sister asked me when I shared with her my sentiments. I felt awful because I had not only traveled from Thika Road to Hurlingham, but I had reached on time only to deliver the unexpected document and thus putting my boss at a uncomfortable spot with her superiors. She was not mad, in fact she had no qualms-it seems the only one who had these was the Financial guy-the one who'd given me money to see this done.

So what then?

I daresay, I have a very rational sister-who weighed the situation and threw it back onto my face without warning. It was simple-I made an innocent mistake and all I have to do is learn from it and move on. See, simple right?
 I beg to differ. I do so on the grounds that perfectionism can actually lead a worrier (like me) down moments of nothing but guilt, hopelessness and re-assessment. This also led me to question what happens to our dreams? What of those moments we yearn for and know what we would say, only to mess them up! On this note-a friend had messed things up with his girlfriend and he asked for her to hear him out-he had the words ready, the script was perfect, but when he got to her-nothing he said made sense and he's wallowing in self pity afraid that he may have lost her. His good friends take him out for drinks-but the more he drinks, the worse he feels about messing things up with his girlfriend.

We may want to script our lives-but nature and other people would not fully let us.
In essence-we get a chance to live our life, make mistakes and learn from them and move on. We also get the chance to shape or change how we view things that happen to us-just realized that being a worrier does not help much.