Friday, February 24, 2012


Have you ever had those moments where everything seems to come to a standstill around you?
Have you ever wanted to experience such a feeling? I had a week of taking only tea-and it turned out great. If you'd call great a score of 5 out of 10, then that was it. I had a cup of coffee yesterday and today, and I am looking forward to having coffee this evening as I write in my daily journal.(See Journal for You )
See, what got me thinking was a girl I overheard at the school cafeteria asking her friend, 'why do I keep falling for guys who break my heart?' Her friend, told her to eat up and they'd go out and have fun clubbing. I smiled at this then thought about it. See, once you start thinking it's like some sequence in your brain gets activated and you cannot stop until the right message is delivered by the synapses. I should know all that because I did a course in Cognitive Psychology- I even scribbled in my book that my brain looks like the busiest most technologically advanced city in the world from a birds' view! So, as that girl asked that question I almost walked over to her and asked, 'why are you more concerned about the end result?
Bear with me here: if she asked 'why do I continue feeling heart broken even when I date different guys?' that would be different. See, she's asking about her perspective-not the results of her perspective! John Allen once said "circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself." You are a result of your actions. If there was any fake self-improvement coach, they would be up in arms with me now, but hey-I need some realists in the house! Like that girl, most people are doing their best to improve their circumstances but not to improve themselves. You remain bound in the situation, because you focus on changing the result but not looking into the root cause. It is easy to change oneself, or one's perspective but not another. I am glad that I listened to that girl at her moment of frustration. She was keen on the end result, which was her heart being broken. She wanted a way out-for not falling for guys who broke her heart, but what about her. Did she love herself enough not to be heart broken? I wrote about this here .
For it's all about what you do and how you express this to the world. Most people simply expect others to complete them and this cannot be so, because they are not you. Only you can complete yourself and when you relate with someone on this basis, what you are doing is saying 'I love you very much' but totally mean 'I trade you very much.'  For you to break free of this chain that you bind yourself with, simply stay true to who you are. How do you figure that out? Well, let every decision concerning you come from you and no one else, have clarity of values, know what you are doing, and be honest with yourself as to why you are doing it. For it's simple, you are either made of unmade by yourself.
Read the article "I trade you Very Much" on: Literary Chronicles
Attached is also a pdf copy of Allen's "As A Man Thinketh"
How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?