Monday, June 9, 2014

On my own terms.

I did not understand what it means to hit a wall until I encountered Grace's "On my own terms."

I know we all desire to have things work out in our favor and more often than not- we want them to work for us and not against us.
Grace has organized a small celebration- to share the news of her marriage to Joseph.

So- she had a civil wedding, against her mother's wishes and now it seems as though the small celebration has grown to more than two hundred people and it has unleashed a mean side of her that I never thought I'd see.

I'm the one with the fiery temper.

It seems like that title has been taken by Grace- because she explodes now whenever anyone says anything that seems contrary to what she desires. Why? Well- since no one listens to what she says she's resorted to shouting and I had enough of it for an hour this afternoon- so I clearly know what it means to suffer from the effects of Bride-Zilliosis!

In my naivety I asked, "why can't you simply explain to your mom why you want a small gathering and what you hope to achieve?"
She dropped her bag- and went on a six minute rant about how much she's been doing that for the past two weeks. I felt sorry for her when she said, "you know, at times I even wonder why I wanted to share the news of our marriage. Joseph is nice and all- but you are lucky Dora...you are lucky your mom still listens to you, I'm just tired- she can do whatever she wants and on that day, I can travel to Kakamega or spend the day at the Park or go to Dunga- she can have the day if she wants to."

I did pass by the Kisumu library and got these two books to read:

​I'm sure the second title would be a great read since I'm done with the first (Lord of Sin)- but all in all, at times when you envision your life- it seems as though everything and everyone is getting in your way.
Some people don't have it easy- because at times they feel as though they are constantly on the outside looking in at their lives and they are helpless.

Is that all there is to life?

I know not how your life is, but for today- after spending an hour with Grace, I learned that when we are overwhelmed we can find ourselves conceding defeat or fighting back- and depending on whichever stand you take- please take time to remember who you are and why you are in it.

More often than not- we lose bits of ourselves along the way...which bits are you losing?

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For all that is right, let there be love-peace and understanding.