I know...but all credit goes to whoever came up with these cartoons because I used to see them in the newspaper while growing up. Oh the days I was a child! (sigh)
But, that's not why am here talking to you now. I had one of my moments and as usual the person involved is Grace, and when Joseph asked me to talk to her I felt like he was placing the world on my shoulders.
I have been unwell, and I reckon I still feel weak and dizzy with these sharp chest pains that come at intervals, but all will be well with me. I get back to work tomorrow and can't wait to start my day delightfully.
So, when Grace called me- she asked me to be as honest in my response as I could (of which she was implying that it was the test of our friendship)- she asked, "What does a person do when her feelings are fading away?"
I did the silliest thing and asked, "What feelings are fading away?"
She paused and said, "love, it's like I am not myself anymore and that should not happen when you're in love should it?"
It was my turn to pause, and I did, because I knew that in that moment whatever I said would be the verdict...I felt like a juror, and it is the one reason why though I am a sucker for happy endings and romance stories, I never settle for what I see. I am the kind of person who will give you the benefit of doubt and a chance to walk all over me as I prepare to up and leave. If you could ask me why, I'd simply say that to date I still feel as though my exes are still good people, but they don't hold a candle to me.
Why am I sharing this moment with you?
I reckon, I am selfish, and Grace's dilemma ends there- I shall keep to myself the rest of the conversation for the sake of my love for her, but if there's one thing I love about her is that she always has soulful questions.
She could have asked me what happened when she didn't love anymore, but instead she asked about the feelings fading away...and it was not like she did not care anymore, but she was scared that what she was feeling was new to her- and she'd never thought she'd experience it.
Grace has always had a Master Yoda thing going on, but even though she keeps it under wraps, I miss her a lot. Sometimes, I feel as though my best friend is climbing a mountain while I am left at the ground due to an injury and there's nothing I can do. She wishes she could be me, and in that moment I wished I could have had the strength to give her a hug- but alas! I was in bed tossing and turning and coughing every five minutes.
We all search for love, and for that one true person who we'll be one with. Sometimes when I talk to my Prince Charming I get the feeling that he found me too early. It's like I was not ready to be found, and though I travel and do what I love- he's always calling and sharing the best moments of his life with me. See, I have my Prince Charming and I'm grateful to God for him.
So, how many people are out there searching?
Out of seven billion, I'd say more than three billion give or take- but that's not a confirmed statistic, so maybe I am the one who is going about this the wrong way. Is there a person as "the one?"
My take, well, that's creative and all- but it sells films, songs and beliefs- and what we need most is to be the one instead. You want the perfect man, be the perfect woman.
You want the perfect life, then live that perfect life.
You want the one, then be the one.
And don't be fooled by your perfection- for though you may read this and say you already are the one and just haven't found who you're looking for- it means that you are not doing something right.
So, what was my take on Grace's question?
Though love is patient, kind, does not boast, is not selfish...love is you as a person, it's evolving and so are you. You get to choose what kind of evolution you'd want to achieve regarding love and your experiences.
Isn't that how come some people choose not to be involved following a broken heart? Isn't that how come some people choose to commit to someone following how they relate?
For what it's worth, love is you and until you look within and feel it, you'll always be searching. You cannot expect to be loved when you love not.
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