Friday, August 22, 2014

What is it with me and circles?

I do not like circles!

Well, that's a start...but here's the thing, I find myself going round in circles over something and I don't like the feeling. I appreciate that I am a coward (a well read one I'd say) and something close to a heart-breaker because of what I am bound to do.

Okay, so here it goes: I think I don't want to be in love!

Yes, you heard me...this hopeless romantic girl who's Prince Charming has had her all dolled up, thinks that she doesn't want to be in love.

I wonder, is it like a switch that you can turn on or off?
Or like a hot plate that you can touch or withdraw your hand?
Or like a book that you can open or close?

Truth is, I don't know, but here's my dilemma (well, not so much of one, but read on please for the sake of this rant)- how do you tell the person you love that you don't want to love them anymore?

I mean, it's not like breaking up or going separate ways; but calling them to finally open their eyes and see that you've been growing and evolving, and they have not been noticing. Do you get me now?

I mean, I can feel the difference in me but my wonderful and dashing Prince Charming does not, and that's where the circle bit comes in because though we talk and share moments of where we are, it's as though time stands still while I'm constantly trying to catch my breath. I mean, how do you tell the person who adores you that you don't want their adoration? You once liked and even loved them, but they never saw it, and you've moved on to better times and you don't see them in your life.

I am going round in circles and though I'd tweeted this yesterday, allow me to say it again, "I feel like I'm hiding the sun with my finger," and something tells me that I'll be stronger and free when this resolves itself because frankly speaking, I am done waving my arms in the air to get Prince Charming to stop day dreaming of what we could be and go find somebody else...it's like am all charmed out, and all I want to do is get on a bus and travel to Rwanda, Burundi...and then come back to Kenya with the story of my life!

You're probably thinking, "you want to get on a bus, so? Get onto one!"

I will and something tells me that I had boarded one a long time ago but I'd been fooling myself that I would come back to him, and truth is I was never his in the beginning.

Now that's a good romance story!

In other news, I was rather sad to watch this show

​and then realize that it's been CANCELLED after the first season! Seriously, NBC have issues! Didn't they find the character Alexander Grayson tastefully brutal, and wickedly handsome! And don't get me started on Jonathan Rhys Meyers and how he walks here as Dracula...just don't!

--
Read a my story blog: www.totellornot.wordpress.com
Learn from my encounters, and share the insights with your circles: www.imetthiswonderfulperson.wordpress.com