Water

I have some news about the next book, in the Currents series, called Water.

The first time I told my sister about it, she asked me, "who names a book, water?", and I could not help but shrug my shoulders and say "me." Yes, I have long had odd ideas and as such, this does not scare me one bit.

So, I submitted "Water," to an editor for a review and it is going great so far because he takes me back to high school where I would write an essay in blue and receive it in red.

There are so many changes to be made, it drives me mad. I also know that he is doing me a favor, one that I might be so kind as to return in the near future.

I wanted to share the cover page with you; but this is bound to be edited too, since it's the fourth cover and it has a long way to go to being perfect.

What do you think?

I have also pulled out Fire, from the online amazon store to make some revisions in the line of distribution and access. I had previously selected the Createspace store and Amazon U.S, but a few readers requested me to make it available on Amazon Europe so they could buy it- so if you are trying to access the book this weekend, I do apologize for the inconvenience. It would be available for purchase from Sunday evening.

Water is more of a build up to the story of Ustawi's life. Here is barely reached puberty, but there is more going on in Leo and he is learning just how much is expected of him. I could say that it is a turning point in the story, but wait and see, and maybe you can tell me what you think of it. I hope this book does better than Fire, but that it also makes you laugh as much as Fire did ( for those who loved Ulioko, watch out, he's not stopped drinking the royal wine here).

Okay, so...what now?

I finally have my way and instead of feeling very happy I feel calm, is that how it's supposed to be?

Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about, well...let's put it this way, things are great between Prince Charming and I. We talked a lot of things through and he could only laugh when I told him- and he said that it was cool because he liked me for my weirdness and inability to stay still- (though that sounded downright weird) I had to accept that he did see through the part of me that I had shared with him.

So, now...I am back to work (well, it's always been work for a while) and he did get me going on with my writing which I am grateful for.

So, I woke up this morning to his text wishing me a marvelous day and I was like:

​(Photo Credit: LinkedIn )

For a while it had felt like everything was closing in one me and I wanted out- not just to breathe but to feel my heart beat, to remember what my goals were and how much I yearned for them.

Well, I got it!

But then I'm asking myself, have I really got what I wanted?

What did I really want in the first place? Was it a want or a need?

And now my mind is a minefield of twenty one questions and I cannot for the life of me understand why I tolerate these thoughts, and then it dawns on me when I'm mopping...like I am bending with a wet rag cleaning the living room- and just like that I realize that I am running away!

I have escapism tendencies...and Grace calls it Philosophy.

I mean, have you ever tried sharing a thought with a Philosopher? It's like asking a Therapist a question and they throw it back at you.

There it is, I have been running away scared and calling it 'suffocation' and now that I have finally realized it, I am left with the greatest Oprah show of my life with Prince Charming.

See, if you have dreams and aspirations- and you meet someone who suddenly makes things feel so right and good, you can get so caught up in them that you forget to live for what you yearned for. Years later you find yourself hating them for never letting you live your dreams- when in essence you never shared your dreams with them- and they never knew how to encourage you.

So, I'm learning to live. I am also learning to open up and share my dreams and fears- because if I do not tell him then there's no way he'll know how to support me.
I am also asking him his aspirations- and this is the question my mother always asks my friends "what are your aspirations?"
She also asks "where do you come from? Who are your parents and what do they do? What is the one thing they've taught you that you are grateful for?"

So, if you are dating someone and you are hoping for a long term commitment, don't wait to get all panicky like me. Ask them:

1. What are your aspirations?
2. Can you cultivate me? (Or will you improve me so that together we are a formidable force?)
3. How can I improve you? If so, will you listen to my views and work with me to help make you better?

You'll probably have other questions to ask with time, but what matters is that you asked them.

It's easier to blame others, and so now as stubborn as I am, I am doing my writing and getting ready for that road trip. I have the book coming out in December, and Prince Charming's declaration that "I'll stand by you, as long as you don't watch me fall," and if there is one thing I am sure of it's that I'll be alright- and we will always be the best of friends.

--

Read a my story blog: www.totellornot.wordpress.com

Learn from my encounters, and share the insights with your circles: www.imetthiswonderfulperson.wordpress.com

#ForgivenessChallenge

It's not easy to forgive when we're wronged.
It's even harder to expect forgiveness from the person you've hurt because seeing them hurt and mad at you doesn't seem like a free card to peace of mind.

So, what's this #ForgivenessChallenge all about?

Ever heard of Desmond Tutu ?

Yes, he is the South African social rights activist, retired Anglican Bishop who has won numerous awards for his constant call for humanity. He even won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984, and the Gandhi Peace Prize in 2007.

Well, I just signed up for the Tutu Global Forgiveness Challenge. Want to join me?


Here's how: Sign up at www.forgivenesschallenge.com

It's a 30-Day Forgiveness Journey.
I'm taking part to work through bits of my life and I hope to learn from other people's experiences, because I've always known that people are like a collage- they have so much going on that if you take them at ace value, you miss out on who they really are.

It's not easy to forgive or be forgiven, but together we can make the world a better place.
We have many challenges facing us today- and one area that often gets to me in social media is cyber bullying . People have so much time and good access to internet and instead of using it for good- they resort to insulting and being mean to others.

But, that's not what the 30-day Forgiveness Challenge is about. I have signed up, and maybe my journey will feel a little different from yours based on our experiences- but it'd be great to share my revelations with you knowing that you understand where I'm coming from.

My Prince Charming

I have met my Prince Charming so many times that writing about him feels like pulling a Swift one on him!

Never trust a Writer! We are so devious that whatever you do is like a story to us. We can make you a hero or a villain depending on our whims and at times we turn you into inanimate objects that characters can push around, step on or misuse. I'd say that doormats, combs, toothbrushes, toilet bowls, sinks, chairs...are some of my favorites.

The highest honor a writer can accord you as an inanimate object is by drafting you as a pen, paper, blank page on a computer or cup of coffee! I'd love to be drafted as a cup of coffee by some writer...it'd be forever the greatest achievement. I could slot it in my Google + profile as a bragging right.

But, I do have times when things weigh me down- and I had a sombre moment like that this morning. I was taking tea when this feeling overtook me and I couldn't shake it off. I'm a worrier- but today it was more like something was going wrong somewhere and I couldn't place it let alone prevent it. I worked on my report for my boss and emailed it to him- then checked out Deviant Art where I came across this:

Copyright: doodlewithgluegun

And, this is where my Prince Charming came through- because in his own wicked way- he just called to wish me a good day, and the first thing I asked was where he was.
"Home, why?"
"Are you okay?" I asked immediately. He laughed and I stayed silent- because if there's one thing that is lost on me is patience. I want answers there and then- and when I get mad, I don't throw tantrums. I let my anger boil and then when it's lethal-I let it erupt and spill over like molten lava!
He stopped laughing and asked me how my day was, completely ignoring my question. "I asked you a question!"
"I'm fine. I am rather hungry if you want to know and I haven't got bread from the shop."

"Okay, that's good to know."

"Are you okay? I mean...is everything okay with you?"
"I'm fine." ( Now look who's lying.)
"No, you're not. Your voice is calm, and you are doing that thing with your voice again...acting all final like this conversation should end."

"Take care love, okay."
"Sure, see you when's possible." I smiled immediately after because having a Prince Charming is like having the one best friend who sees right through you and never questions your good and bad days.

But this post was not to tell you about him, rather about what it feels like when you are down or blue and you can't explain why. Someone might think you are in a bad mood or you woke up on the wrong side of the bed- and if you are a woman- then they'd jump to PMS! But, it's not so...at times you have to sort things out.
Your feelings and opinions about things can get so mixed up that the only way to clear it out is when you are feeling blue.
So, how do you go about it?

I reckon first things first is to create some space! Be by yourself, wallow in your thoughts and let it sink in.
If you love music like I do- then listen to something, and based on how down you feel- you'll tend to pick a very down song, but listen to it and continue to wallow in your thoughts.
With time you'd come to terms with what you are feeling- and figure out how to act on it.

There's nothing wrong with being by yourself, because there's so much serenity that comes when you are one with yourself.

Happy Easter holidays!

Why should Marriage matter to me now?

Are you married? Or almost getting married? Or hoping to get married?

Well, if you are hoping to get married...the question today is not when but to WHO?

See, who you get married to is very important, because that phrase "till death do us part" signals a very long time with your partner.

So, why the sudden interest in marriage?

Well...my friend's Mom asked me about it. She put it in a light way, but it was more like this "you are still tiny, Dora, and tell me, what are your plans? Any wedding?"

I smiled, then politely told her it will happen in God's time.

Thank God for His assurance! ( I mean, I can indeed share with people that I believe that when God's got something awesome for me, all I need to do is be patient about it.)

So, why should marriage matter to me now?

Did you know that in Kenya, the marital age is increasing steadily?

What was once between 18 and 22 is now 28-35, and why is that? If you said: divorce, abuse, infidelity, lies, mistrust, tough economic times, accountability...then you are on the right track, but having slept on this- why should it be so? Why should it be so hard to commit to someone and date for a reason?

So, I asked some guys why they date and they said:

• To have fun
• To get to know someone
• To score
• To have someone to show off to your pals
• To have someone to text at night and go clubbing with.

I then asked them, what they seek in wife

• Kind
• Caring and loving
• Someone who knows how to cook and clean- and can take good care of the house (domesticated!)
• Loyal and hardworking
• Respectable
• Intelligent and knows how to carry themselves around people- not party-goers
• Dress appropriately- and are honest

So, I went on to ask if they are looking for someone to settle down with. They answered yes. So, I asked them why they date with the intention of not committing yet expect to find a wife while doing so.
I was politely turned down by the discussion of which team might win the Champions League Cup.
PS: I do watch some games- and know my way around football. My Dad was a football coach, give me some credit! I did most of my nursery homework alongside a football field!
Back to the matter at hand...date with a reason, and accept the consequences of your thinking.
If you want a wife but always hang out and chase after cheap girls- well, you'll be chasing for a long time and scoring- but never winning!
You win when you have finally accepted the person you see yourself with- for the next years to come.
But- I was also thinking about marriage in the 21st century- it is increasingly considered less and less 'a good thing.'
How many single mothers do we have?
Is it because the baby daddies do not exist? No. They do not want to commit. Then before we could sneeze- came the phrase "Y.O.L.O" and suddenly everyone thinks that you only live once by partying too hard and drowning your body in alcohol and weed.
But...there's also the few who are doing good in terms of committing to their loved ones. The few who believe that love, and marriage are journeys that two people can undertake and arrive at a great destination. Then there are those who believed this but were convinced not to by those who see the negative side of it.
So, what would my answer be to my friend's mom about any wedding plans?
Well, I do have my own- and I am honored to be constantly challenged and cared for by a great person who I see myself walking down the aisle to. Yes, I will have to walk down that aisle...
So, why should marriage matter to me now?
It has never been out of my wishes- because I have seen what a good family is- and I believe that a great family has to start from somewhere- and I only hope that I will be as strong as my Mom, to always cater to my family even when my husband is long gone. I see how some of my uncles and long distant relatives fail in treating their wives right, and I know that in doing so they are disregarding the image of God in which they were made. I would not wish that on any woman.

But, if there's one thing I have constantly learned from my other uncles who glorify and value their marriage is that there's a sobering responsibility that comes with being a man.I say so- because women in their own nature have proven to fall, and get back on their feet and protect their children, a quality that any man needs for his legacy to prosper.